Getting Married in Church
If you are looking at this page because you are wanting to get marriage in the Parish, then hopefully some of the information here will be of help.
On this page is information about:
- The Church and Marriage
- Who can be married in the churches of the Parish ?
- Arranging a Church Wedding
- Legal aspects
- The service
- How much does it cost ?
- How can I arrange a wedding or Banns of Marriage?
The Church and Marriage
Every year, hundreds of thousands of people get married in England. More than half tie the knot during a religious ceremony which, for 200,000, about a third of the total, involves the Church of England. It is the most important day in their lives.
Whether you are a regular churchgoer or not, getting married in church allows you to make solemn promises to the one you love, not only in front of your family and friends but also in the sight of God and with God's blessing.
Marriage, the Bible tells us, is a gift of God in creation and a means of his grace, a holy mystery in which man and woman become one flesh. It is God's purpose that, as husband and wife give themselves to each other in love throughout their lives, they are united in that love, just as Christ is united in love with his Church.
To use the words of the Marriage Service :
Marriage is a gift of God in creation
through which husband and wife may know the grace of God.
It is given
that as man and woman grow together in love and trust,
they shall be united with one another in heart, body and mind,
as Christ is united with his bride, the Church.The gift of marriage brings husband and wife together
in the delight and tenderness of sexual union
and joyful commitment to the end of their lives.
It is given as the foundation of family life
in which children are [born and] nurtured
and in which each member of the family,in good times and in bad,
may find strength, companionship and comfort,
and grow to maturity in love.
This is, of course, the ideal and no true lovers hope for anything less. The church holds firmly to Christ's teaching that marriage is a lifelong commitment.
Who can be married in the churches of the Parish ?
As part of the Church of England, everyone with no former partner still living, has the right to get married in their or their partner's parish church. As the parish is a Ecumenical partnership we also have to consider the practice of the Methodist Church and the Methodist Minister will be able to advise on the current situation.
Where either one of the couple has a previous spouse still living, each case will be considered individually.
Arranging a church wedding
Having decided you want a church wedding, the first thing to do is to talk to one of the Parish Clergy (see Staff page for contact details). Couples are expected to prepare carefully for their new life together. The minister will want to meet you in person to talk about marriage and may even invite you to join a marriage preparation course, sometimes with other couples.
There are also decisions to be made: whether to use the traditional words of the Book of Common Prayer or the Series 1 service or the more current language of the Common Worship or the Methodist Worship Book; what hymns and readings you might like; whether you want the service to include your first communion as husband and wife; decorate the church or have the choir sing; and what date you want to set.
Legal aspects
Your forthcoming marriage has to be announced or licensed before the service can take place. The announcement is called the banns and must be read out in your parish church or churches on three Sundays before the wedding. If the wedding is in another church because one of you is on the electoral roll of that parish, the banns must be read there, too. There is a small fee for publishing the banns and for the certificate, completed by the Minister, that they have been read.
There may be some reason why your banns cannot be read. An alternative is a common licence issued by the bishop of the diocese or his surrogate; one of the local clergy. This will allow you to be married in a parish where either of you has lived for at least 15 days before the licence is issued.
If you have a special reason for wanting to be married in a church where neither of you lives, it is possible to apply for a special licence from the Archbishop of Canterbury. Nobody has a right to one of these licences, so you must have a good reason; not just that the church would look nice in the photos. Write to the Registrar of the Faculty Office, 1 The Sanctuary, London SW1. More information is available on the Church of England website in the section on Planning Your Wedding.
To be married by common or special licence, at least one of you must have been baptised. You also have to pay a fee for the licence.
The service
With all that out of the way, there are just two more tasks to enjoy before you can start your married life: a rehearsal with the minister and the service itself.
Most people are familiar with the marriage service. The couple traditionally arrive separately, the bridegroom first with his best man; and the bride, at the appointed time, led down the aisle on the arm of her father or a close relative. The groom's family and friends sit on the right and the bride's on the left. Bride and groom meet at the chancel step.
The priest prays for the couple and declares the purposes of marriage before asking, as the law requires, if anyone knows any reason why the marriage should not take place.
Next come the questions. Will you love, comfort, honour and protect...and, forsaking all others, be faithful as long as you both shall live? Each is asked and each answers I will. Turning to each other, bride and groom then make the ageold vows, little changed for more than 800 years...to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish till death us do part, according to God's holy law.
By giving and receiving the wedding ring or by exchanging rings the couple complete their promises. The priest proclaims them husband and wife and pronounces God's blessing on them. After the register has been signed, the congregation prays for the couple, asking God's help for them as they begin their new life together. Sometimes, the register is signed right at the end.
How much does it cost ?
The costs of a church wedding are not high. The service itself - access to the church and the minister costs less than most wedding dresses. This is a fee set nationally each year by the Church of England. Part of it goes to the parish church for the use of the building, the rest replaces part of the priest's stipend or salary.
The parochial church council, which runs the local church, is free to set its own fees for other items such as having the organist play, the choir, the heating and other things it pays for in its regular services. What you pay depends on what you want.
As rough guide, amarriage service with organist and flowers provided will cost approximately £400 while a marriage blessing or thanksgiving costs £225.
How can I arrange a wedding or Banns of Marriage?
All enquiries regarding weddings, blessings, thanksgivings, banns of marriage, please contact Marilyn Ilyas (see Contact page).
If you want more information
about planning your wedding, as well as
the Church of England's rules and regulations,
the section about weddings on the
Life Events section
of the Church of England's website is
a good place to visit.